This is just a PIECE of crazy.....

Not the whole pie mind you, just a slice of it.  Seriously - I met a woman this past weekend that would make Freddy Kruger look like a Kindergarten Teacher.  OMG - So I go to Rabun County to get this lady out of jail.  Yeah, Rabun, where Deliverance was filmed - that should tell you something.....  and her husband was there in the lobby.  He was a really nice older guy and he told me that he was a retired Art teacher, so one thing led to another and we talked about photography, and drawing with graphite pencils and other artsy fartsy stuff, and I decided that he was a pretty nice fellow.  So they call me to the back - I get to go through 3 of those doors that you open from some console in the front.  No door can open before the other one closes, I guess so you won't get trapped or something.  Anyway, I go all the way to Booking in the back, and they bring this lady up.  I couldn't help it, I did a double take.  It almost took my breath away.  She was 30 years her husband's junior, and I swear she looked older than him.  She talked, or garbled, or whatever you call it - maybe she was channeling or something, I don't know.  It may not have even been English at all but I was seriously trying not to stare into her eyes.  It was not good.  She was refusing to sign the papers showing that they had showing that she got her property back, and I knew that SHE knew what she was doing.  Apparently the officers had already tried to get her to sign it, and there was a note under the signature line that said "refused to sign" and she kept pointing to it.  I looked at the Deputy behind the counter like "What the heck?" and the Deputy was very much trying NOT to look at me.  I don't know if the officer was scared that I'd run, or scared that I'd laugh, or what, but everybody knows that given the option I'd laugh before I'd run.  I had not a chuckle, no laugh, and damned sure not even a stupid grin.  I was almost stuck in place.  In my mind I was saying "Damn, I've never been in this predicament before, what now......."  You know how you say it "DAYYYY yum.  So I got my Bonding papers out, and crazy woman is mumbling something, then just goes and sits on a bench behind us, and totally not paying attention - just off in la la land.  I think she had snagged a newspaper or something and sat there with one leg crossed over the other one like she was in her living room.  I'm just standing there watching it like the whole world is in slow motion.... After a little bit, the officer finally convinces her to get back to the counter, and I start going over the paperwork and she just shakes her head.  Nope.  Nada.  Nein.  So I'm looking at her like she's crazy.  Well - I did.  I actually felt like I was having one of those out-of-body experiences.  I was watching myself being absorbed into this woman's mind or something.  So very quietly I say to her "Don't you want to go home?"  and I swear, I didn't know WHAT it was she was going to do.  For real.  Heck, maybe she didn't want to go home.  Finally the male officer steps up and says the same thing that I did except in more of a manly commanding tone, and she picks up the pen and signs her initials everywhere that I point.  I didn't even bother telling her what was what.  Sign here, sign here, sign here.  Quick, hurry, before you change your mind and sit down to read the newspaper again......  THEN they had to get her clothes on her.  This was the deal - her husband had to bring her some pants to put on - she didn't have any in her belongings, and in my mind I was thinking "Oh my gosh, they brought her in with no pants on" and I was trying to picture that.  I was still not even cracking a grin, which under normal circumstances would be very VERY funny.  Dang.  I feel robbed now, missing all that opportunity....... So I'm trying to picture this crazy woman coming to jail for Battery with no pants on and I was wondering what kind of battery you could do without pants.  I guess you can slap somebody naked but as funny as that sounds now - I never not one time thought about laughing.....  Finally she got her pants on and the officer walks us to the front, back through the 3 doors.  The 3 of us, trapped between those big steel doors and I swear, for the first time in 10 years I thought that I was going to be the plot in the next Nightmare on Elm Street or something.  On top of that, the whole time we were walking up front, the officer kept thanking me, over and over, for coming to get her out.  I was so stunned by the whole ordeal that I had nothing funny to say, only "The pleasure is all mine" or something dumb like that.  So the thought for today is that the bar has been raised for the crazies now and I didn't take the opportunity to laugh about it.....